Vanitas Vanitatum

I have expended much paranoid energy on my preparation for the oral exams at the end of May. I constantly, restlessly, examine myself. Endlessly, I wonder if I am preparing the right material, thinking the right thoughts. What makes academic work so painful and frustrating though, is the way it is always motivated by a negation of the negation. You come to realize that the moments of harrowing despair and desolation, far from proving that you are doing it wrong, actually means you are doing it right. Alas, you cannot outwit the cunning of reason. Oh, vanitas vanitatum!